Deciding to divorce or separate is a tough and scary decision to make. While you may agree that it is the only answer for your relationship, there may be things you and your partner just can’t agree on such as your finances and family assets, or the arrangements for your children.
You may struggle to see how anything can be resolved if you can’t resolve it yourselves. After all, who knows you better than each other? Or you may find it hard to step back from your relationship and the events of the past to find a solution. In these situations this is what will stop you from reaching a decision; you know each other too well and your decisions will be clouded by your history together.
That is the beauty of mediation; we will take that step back and look at your relationship from an outside, calm and neutral perspective. Having an independent person look at your individual relationship will help you make informed decisions without taking sides, and will help facilitate the communication between you and your partner to come to a positive outcome that you can both be happy with, helping you to move on in your lives.
Find out more about our independent family mediators here, or more about how family mediation works and the costs involved here.
Right now, you are probably feeling nervous about the future, and concerned about making these decisions without adding further tension between you and your partner, or ending up in a costly or lengthy court battle.
We are here to help.
Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings
The introduction of the Children and Families Bill in 2014 requires couples who are separating and wanting to apply for a court order about children or financial matters to first attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, commonly known as a MIAM. We are able to offer these through our Mediation service; you can find out more information on the process involved with MIAMs, Legal Aid eligibility and the possible exemptions for attending a MIAM here.
Child inclusive mediation
Sam Miles, one of our accredited family mediators, is also accredited to provide child inclusive mediation.
This form of mediation invites the children of parents in family mediation to also have an individual session with Sam, on their own and their discussions will remain confidential if they wish it. Having the opportunity to hear how their children are feeling during their conflict can provide new insight to parents about their behaviour and help on their journey to a resolution.
Mediation of this kind must be agreed by both parents, and will depend on the age of the children involved. There is a charge for the meeting, which is the same as the parent meetings at £220 per hour plus VAT, but can a price really be put on knowing what is best for your child?
Find out more about child inclusive mediation here.
We are sure you will have a long list of questions about whether family mediation is the right option for you, and not all of these can be answered here as every relationship is different. If you don’t think family mediation is for you, or you don’t think we can help, below are a variety of scenarios that can help overcome your initial concerns.
I don’t believe I should have to compromise so mediation won’t work for us.
Every relationship is about give and take, and it is highly likely that your partner is just as absolute in their wishes; which is why you have come to family mediation as you can’t agree a solution yourselves.
Family mediation will allow you both to express your views and wishes in a safe and calm environment. Mediation is designed to get you talking in a constructive way and to help you and your partner understand the situation from an impartial perspective. It may be that with the help of a family mediator you will be able to consider options you may not have thought of before.
We can’t seem to have a conversation without arguing, how will family mediation help?
Mediation will help by giving you the time to have your say, without interruption from the other party. The family mediator can set ground rules about how each of you will speak to each other and what language may or may not be acceptable. It is normal for separating parties to carry their frustrations, fears and worries into mediation and these can spill over into raised voices and arguments. Sometimes this is even healthy, but if the mediator feels that any arguments are not helpful or if one party is being bullied or intimidated, the mediation may need to stop. You will not be forced to endure a situation that you feel uncomfortable with or unhappy with.
We have agreed on arrangements in the past but my ex hasn’t followed the plan. Can family mediation help?
It may be that your ex wasn’t fully supportive of the arrangements made in the past, and so it was inevitable that they weren’t going to see them through in the long term. Family mediation will ensure that an arrangement is made that both parties agree with, and, having participated fully in the mediation, most proposals are then carried through and implemented on a long term basis.
Not only this, but by using our mediator we will ensure that your agreements are capable of being converted into legally binding and enforceable arrangements underpinned by a court order.
To find out more about family mediation or to book your first appointment, contact us on 023 8071 7431 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.